RED STARBUCKS CUP
Inspired by Toby Keith’s
“Red Solo Cup”
Now Red Starbucks cup is the best receptacle
To fuel me through work-days, ball games and festivals
And their coffee is strong but some say they lack testicles
To Decorate Merry Christmas
Hey Red Starbucks cup is trash, inexpensive
In all my years, ain’t seen folks so offended
And unlike most gripes it’s something NOT printed
Folks seein’ red ‘bout missing holidays
Red Starbucks cup, I fill you up
Order a grande, why not a venti?!
I love you Red Starbucks cup, I lift you up
Why’re they so whiney? Had too much caffeine!
Now I’m cracking up how you’re taking a stand
But I don’t relate, these’re First world problems, man
Cause you’re pouring your passion into the wrong plan
Am I wrong, it’s just a cup
But the “Merry Christmas” name campaign ain’t that hard-hittin’
All’s lost anyway when barista fouls the name written
On you with a Sharpie when they get real busy
Take a sip, steamed milk hit… relax
Now I’ve seen you in white and I’ve seen you in green
But only you, Red, will do for this coffee queen
Cause you are the palette on which I scribble scenes
To bring the real warmth of the holiday
Red Starbucks cup, your season won’t last, it’s
More than a color, you’re contents – fantastic!
And believe me that I’m not the least bit sarcastic
When I look at you and pray:
“Red Starbucks cup, you’re not just Winter (No, no, God no)
Stay all year, yea (Year-long)
Thank you for bringing me cheer”
I couldn’t help it, I had this rolling around in my head since the issue started simmering in the press. Now it’s hit a boiling point with politicians chiming in and competitors taking the chance to do it better. Without pointing out the obvious – if this is ruining your hoilday, the cup ain’t the problem. Ellen said it best with a hand-crafted dose of holiday humor.
For real holiday cheer, buy someone who’s not expecting it a warm Starbucks drink and see how THAT makes you feel! Warmer than a Quad Latte in winter!