WHAT’S THE END GOAL HERE?

Hello, my name is Sarah and I’m a podcast-holic. 

My line up of favorite shows contains equal parts writing or online entrepreneurial advice, inspirational motivators and true crime podcasts – that my kids introduced me to.  

podcast good life project

Today, while listening to the Good Life Project, host Jonathan Fields and special guest, author Geneen Roth (from the 12/29/20 episode), discussed “You don’t need to be fixed.”  Jonathan brought up a thought that totally made me stop and think.  He mentioned how fascinated he is wondering whether people truly seek to improve themselves through  transformation or liberation? …and now I am curious too!

I’ve headed out on such a transformation journey as someone who loves to learn new things every day. I love making small adjustments and seeing how they feel the next time something comes up. I love feeling like I’m improving, and when something goes the other direction the promise of a new day gives me hope.  However, now that I’m reconsidering my stance, I see that transformation may never end. I may not ever reach the finish line and feel successful.  But, I’m a progress, not a perfection kinda gal.

Yet, I see the freeing goal of liberation – shedding that which no longer serves us.  It’s a larger commitment to focus in on the trouble areas and draw boundaries. That big elephant is no longer welcome in the room. Then, when the weight lifts, we soar! Perhaps our acceleration has a steeper curve since we grow unencumbered. To me the downside feels as though this may require a stronger commitment. I’m not always strong enough for that.

As Geneen pointed out, as she worked hard on herself, things that used to bother her no longer would. …Until they did. Be patient with yourself. Neither transformation, nor liberation, offer a money back guarantee. Perhaps it boils down to what makes you feel most like you’re in control of your life?  Thoughts?!

If you, like me, love taking those tests to find out what Friends character you are, what personality type you are or how old you are, why don’t you check out what SPARKETYPE you are! I call it a light-hearted self-improvement activity that makes you think introspectively with a quick test that may give you some captivating insight about yourself! Once you know better,  you do better!

What about you?

  • Which approach do you believe in – transformation or liberation?
  • What are the pros and cons?
  • Who are your mentors?
  • Have any tips?
  • Can you see the argument for the other option?
  • What is your favorite podcast – I’ll check it out!
  • If you want to know what other podcasts make me go hmmm, drop your email in the top right box on the page to wander along with me!
    (I have no relationship with the Good Life Project other than being a fan!)

THERE IS NO WRONG WAY TO CREATE A VISION BOARD

It’s that time of the year when people set their intentions, make goals and plan out the next few months! Now that you know what Vision Boards look like and learned the basic ideas behind how they help us attract success with our dreams and goals, how does one make a vision board? There is no wrong way to create a vision board… What a relief! 

Two varieties of vision boards
Super Simple (& Inexpensive) Supplies

Honestly I got most of my supplies at
Dollar Tree (#afflink) which offers free shipping to a store near you! I got such a good deal that I purchased enough to invite friends. I’ll share more on hosting a party in an upcoming post. If you use any favorite supplies that I forgot to mention, please leave your suggestions in the comments below.

  • BOARD can be poster board (I started with 14” x 22”), foam board, canvas, index cards, journals or even adhesive note squares
  • Piles of old magazines
  • Scissors
  • Glue sticks/clear tape
  • Stickers or printed out affirmations
  • Pens

Gather magazines, scissors and glue
Super Simple Instructions
While the internet overflows with templates and classes, I personally wouldn’t pay a significant amount of money for them unless they serve wine or plan to check in with you from time to time to help you shape your goals. A few dollars for templates helps shape your board, though I prefer the potential of a blank sheet to start.

Cut out motivational phrases

Cut out anything that gives you a little surge of positive energy when you look at it:

  • Mantras: Your theme word of the year, words you live by, or motivational phrases
  • Resources: Books, courses, role models or mentors that could prove resourceful
  • Visuals:  Homes you love, a snapshot showing people with the attitude and feeling you strive for, vacation destinations, or career goals

Bottom line, anything you cut out should be intentional and meaningful to YOU, not anyone else’s version of you.
Organize your vision board into zones

Organize the board into zones (again, no wrong way – do what makes sense to you):

  • Short-term vs. Long-term goals: Perhaps half of the page features short-term goals that may be done this year, while the other half shows long-term bucket list items
  • Personal vs. Career: Personal goals (health, wealth, wisdom) seem independent but then tend to overlap career goals (career path, starting your own company)
  • Dreams vs. Goals: Dreams help divide your board into sections with smaller goals in the corresponding section: For example: The dream to do a marathon starts with the goals of buying running shoes then committing to running 10 minutes a day.
  • Personal vs. Family: Some goals involving other folks in your life may creep into your board. Of course they would – your family or friends are important to you! Make sure your dreams occupy a prominent position on your board.

Bottom line, if you’re still feeling scrambled, start with the big pictures, try to fit on page in zones, add little pictures around those zones, sprinkle with motivational phrases and mantras and embellish if you want to. Having white space around your pictures helps create pause in your thoughts so don’t feel you need to cover every centimeter.

Advanced challenge: You could create a sunburst-shaped board with each ray being a different dream or goal.  Or, perhaps, a tree-shaped board with roots being goals to ground you and branches being dreams and things that help you grow.

Artistic vision board

I don’t know who made this but this example and many more are on Pinterest!

Revisit often:

  • Grab a coffee or tea and instead of jumping onto email or social media, look at your vision board first thing in the morning.
  • Post your vision board in your workspace to enable you to glance at it often.
  • Digital pictures or versions of your vision board could be posted as your desktop or phone background so your eyes fall on it regularly.
  • Some people suggest last thing at night so that your dreaming mind can play with the ideas while you sleep.

Digital pictures of your vision board can be used as computer backgrounds or headers

When to make a new one:

  • Create a new board annually, but consider bi-annually or even quarterly.
  • Sometimes when facing a large project, significant change or new challenge, a board specific to this new challenge helps organize your thoughts.

What if you’re still stuck:

  • Consider some self-reflection: Ask yourself what you would do if you could not fail or if money was no object. Ask yourself what you would volunteer to do if you didn’t have to have a job.
  • Journal: Some people swear by morning pages to jostle your dreams loose – 3 pages of free writing first thing in the morning. Write anything dancing through your  mind.

If you make a vision board, please share! I would love to get to know you better through your boards!

Be true to who you are

What about you?
Have you made a vision board before?
Will you try one now?
Do you have additional tips for vision boards?
Do you follow templates or let creativity guide you?
Share your best example of your vision board helping you attract something in your life!

#VisionBoard #SetYourGoals #HappyNewYear #Visualize #LawOfAttractions #MakesMeWander

#Afflink means if you purchase your supplies using this link then I may earn a few more pennies towards next year’s vision board party – at no extra cost to you.

WHY YOU NEED TO CREATE A VISION BOARD

As always, I’m SUPER excited and counting down our last 20 minutes until we roll over into a new year. While every day presents a new opportunity to walk in the direction of our dreams, I love the feel of a measureable new start! January 1 feels malleable and untarnished no matter how late I celebrated the night before. But, a few weeks ago, someone reminded me that not only would it be a new year but a new decade and I immediately felt a twinge of anxiety crawling up my spine. 

I immediately turned inward for some quick introspection (does that really every work if you rush it?)! I’ve spent every living day since then simmering on my word for 2020 and wondering how that would shape my vision board!

My vision board and why you should make one!

My 2020 Vision Board balancing myself, family, and my side-hustle!

WHAT IS A VISION BOARD?
In the most basic terms, vision boards represent your long-term and short-term goals and dreams plus offer a way to set, track and motivate you towards your goals. 

HOW DOES THE VISION BOARD WORK?
By creating a visual reminder of our dreams and goals, it helps create our intentions. Intentions create our reality. If we think we’re too busy to tend to our dreams then we will be too busy and blame it on work, our kids, or our spouses. But, if we live our life only for everybody and everything else, we’re not living ourselves. It’s not until we decide to make something a priority that we will commit time to it.

Oof there’s that word, commit – commitment. Setting a wide goal to write a book carries with it a big, scary commitment. However, if I put on my vision board the specific action goal, “Write 15 min. a day” then the task doesn’t seem as frightening. Plus, we reason with ourselves that we deserve at least 15 min. of our day to grow our dreams, right? I’m a big believer in baby steps and celebrate each one! Also include at least a few reach goals, try something new – the results may thrill you!

My 2018 vision board was hectic but I get to make a new one whenever I want to!

My 2018 vision board was 2-sided and way too hectic but it still served it’s purpose!

Visualizing helps train our brains for success! When I used to run foot races, we’d train only up to a certain distance but never the full mileage of our race. Part of preparing for our opportunities involved physical conditioning (forming the habit and getting our bodies used to the action). The last portion simply involved the mental belief that we’d make it. Just like the athletes who mentally visualize being successful in their match or events before competition day, if we create a board visualizing our dreams, we start thinking in terms of us reaching our goals and dreams. It will happen because we’ll start to feel like we’ve been there all along. 

Another key component involves repetition, referring back to your vision board regularly so either post it in your home, save it to your phone screensaver, or post a mini version on your car visor. By consciously checking in with it regularly, you keep your dreams and goals in the forefront of your mind. Then, when opportunities come up in the form of a class, conference or person who could perhaps help you grow, you’re more apt to notice them. This isn’t magic or rocket science, but just like when you get a new car and suddenly you feel like you see a ton of the same car on the road… 

My first vision board ever

My first vision board! Remember, sometimes goals show up in a different way than expected. While I never made it to the Oprah show, I’m now a Brand Ambassador for her magazine!

Positive Mindset helps you move forward. Stress and negative thoughts put an anchor that either creates a lot of extra work to drag it around, or keep you stagnant. Ask yourself what you want to manifest. Affirm the things you want to see in your life. For example if you’re hoping to increase the number of books you read this year, don’t say “I’m too busy to read” say “I look forward to reading Sundays!” When you focus on things from the positive side, you’ll not only keep moving forward, but you’ll recognize the gifts as they arise.  So then when your morning commute took longer than usual in your vanpool it becomes less about the delay and more about getting to read an extra chapter.

Tomorrow, I’ll share the step by step process for creating your vision board.
(Spoiler: There is no wrong way to create a vision board!)

Subscribe with your email if you want to receive that notice and learn how to host a great Vision Board party!

What about you?
Have you done a vision board before? For 2020?
How do you arrange yours? On a board? On a Wall? On your computer?
What do you always include? What do you never include?
Do you have another way to explain how they work?
Do you believe in the Law of Attraction?
Do you believe that vision boards tie in with that Law?

#VisionBoards #HappyNewYear #SetYourGoals #Visualize #PowerOfAttraction #MakesMeWander

NATURALLY, KIDS! A family bucketlist…

A childhood friend shared this article on Facebook. I immediately recalled the hours chasing her around outside her home. With her, I got to first experience feeding dogfood to a rescued baby bird, wheeling, then dumping, her little brother into the rosebushes because red wagons don’t corner well, and protesting the adoption of all her roly-poly puppies because we wanted to keep them all.

The article states what we already know, that in the age of Facebook and smartphones, children are more sedentary than ever even when they are outside, with one in 10 unable to ride a bike. This is their list of 50 things kids should do before they are 12 (plus a few I threw in). Since my son is almost 11, I’m just going to use it as a rough guide of 50 things to try to do before college. Though now that he is heading to college, we’ll say before his younger sister goes to college…

Feel free to join us for any or all of them!

The full list is as follows:

1. Climb a tree

After volunteering at a pancake breakfast we found an awesome tree with thick broad branches perfect for climbing!

2. Roll down a really big hill

One of the greatest activities at this party was the impromptu roll down a huge hill. If kids picked up enough speed they could go right in the lake.

3. Camp out in the wild

It’s dawn – time to wake up?!

4. Build a den

5. Skip a stone

skip

Right-handed Softballer; Left-handed Stone Skipper

6. Run around in the rain

7. Fly a kite

Flying Free with the wind in her hair!

8. Catch a fish with a net

9. Eat an apple straight from a tree

10. Play conkers

11. Throw some snow

This was the first snow found – dirty snow in the parking lot

12. Hunt for treasure on the beach

13. Make a mud pie

14. Dam a stream

15. Go sledging – I’m guessing they meant sledding as sledging is a great way to pollute the air with smacktalk!

Sailing over the snow!

In CA we also sand sled!

16. Bury someone in the sand

What if your head isn’t what’s buried in the sand?

17. Set up a snail race

18. Balance on a fallen tree

19. Swing on a rope swing

I called this Ewok Training Camp in Hungary

20. Make a mud slide

21. Eat blackberries growing in the wild

22. Take a look inside a tree

23. Visit an island

24. Feel like you’re flying in the wind

Not a ride in nature, but the closest thing to flying at Knott’s Berry Farm!

25. Make a grass trumpet

26. Hunt for fossils and bones – or our hunt for Elliott if we want to be fully transparent – Like Elliott!

dragon

Only the cave knows what treasures it holds

27. Watch the sun wake up

28. Climb a huge hill (bicycle optional!)

Carson rode all the way up this exhausting hill for bragging rights and an ice cream!

29. Get behind a waterfall

30. Feed a bird from your hand

31. Hunt for bugs

32. Find some frogspawn

33. Catch a butterfly in a net

34. Track wild animals

35. Discover what’s in a pond

36. Call an owl

37. Check out the crazy creatures in a rock pool

38. Bring up a butterfly

39. Catch a crab

40. Go on a nature walk at night

41. Plant it, grow it, eat it

42. Go wild swimming

Swimming upstream!

43. Go rafting

44. Light a fire without matches

45. Find your way with a map and compass

46. Try bouldering

47. Cook on a campfire11/9/13 Lauren and her friend Riley learned how to cook Snickerdoodle cookies on a campfire in a box oven. I wish I’d taken a picture, but I didn’t so here is what it looked like (but we used cinder blocks, not coke cans).

The Snickerdoodle cookies were a huge hit! Lauren ate 3 herself! Thanks Prepared-Housewife.com for this photo! I'm your newest fan!

The Snickerdoodle cookies were a hit!  Thanks          Prepared-Housewife.com for the photo! I’m your newest fan!

48. Try abseiling

49. Find a geocache

50. Canoe down a river

51. Go on dog sled

Mush! We have a lot of Montecito Sequoia to explore!

52. Visit a national park preserve

Even grander in real life!

53. Do snow/sand angel

After falling off her bike a lot that day, she preferred activities already on the ground.

54. Squish toes in the mud

55. Jump in a pile of leaves

The crunchy leaves smell like fall!

56. Relax in a cave

Contemplating Superstitions at Superstition Mountain

What about you?
Do you have any bucketlists for your family?
What have I left off of this list?
Which National Park MUST I see first?
How have your family travel plans changed once kids go to college?

MY MANY MOAI

I feel like an enigma as the introvert that loves joining groups. Growing up, groups served my desire to disappear in the pile of, and yet identify with, my peers. I wore the labels from showing up for just enough meetings to get in the yearbook picture and partake in the free snacks. I knew the truth I aimed to occupy, I just balked at my own value not believing I offered anything new. I feel like teenage angst boiled over then reduced down to a thick syrup of Imposter syndrome.  

Thank goodness that my heart knew what it needed and where I wanted to wind up, although my feet kept kicking myself in the ass. My heart backed myself into some amazing groups that I still can’t believe include me in their membership. These groups not only broadcast my soul to the world but, in turn, give me clarification and confidence about who I am. Each group feels a little bit like home. 

These lovely Red Hat Society ladies grew by word-of-mouth but are nation-wide!

 

High School Girlfriends – Friends who have known the many evolutions of me (since before I knew who I was) and still stay close anyway!

OMagInsiders – Group of hearts on a similar wavelength who expanded my horizons and helped redefine the second season of my life. 

Eat My Way Around The World – Flavorful foodie friends introduced to me by work who remind me to season our work life with social meals. They know what I’m saying even if words evade me. 

Redondo Rocks – Kind, creative and generous people aiming to embellish people’s days and  strengthen the positive connections in our community. 

Mom Tribe – I have a flourishing and eager-to-help network of moms who have driven carpools, fed my kids, kept them if I have to be somewhere at an off hour, taken them on fun adventures, and helped me keep my eyes on the ground – so much so that my children believe that I really do see everything everywhere. While I love them all for helping make me a successful mom, I love them as people and look forward to the times when the kids are scarce too.  

Korean Adoptees – We’re so spread out around the globe, but we’re reuniting online through a wide variety of groups where we help carry the history we share together and mentor each other to find the answers we hope for or the path we are meant for.

I’m so fortunate because these groups offer:

  • A security blanket – Non-judgemental support when needed
  • Level-headed perspective – They speak truthfully and directly to help steer me
  • Calming agent – They listen and give great hugs which dissipate the feeling of being alone in any storm
  • Strong support – They totally jump on my crazy train when I’m roaring down the tracks
  • Sweeten my life – They surprise me with special treats of kind gestures and rituals
  • Bonus: Did you know that by participating in regular moais, your life could increase by 8 years (Blue Zones)?

WHAT ABOUT YOU?
Do you belong to any moais, groups or clubs?

What kind?
What is your longest-lasting Moai?
Do you prefer online or in-person groups?

How many people are in your Moai?
Do you know how to say Moai?   Mo•ai (/mo,eye/) Japan
Tell me the top three things your Moai give you!

WWP: WRITE AN “ABOUT ME…” ABOUT YOU

Once I hit job-searching age, I received instruction on writing effective elevator speeches. These conversation starters explained myself and my goals – blurted out in the time needed to ride a few floors when momentarily trapped with someone possibly capable of changing my life’s trajectory. For me, creating a quick tagline to communicate about a company, product or service came far more naturally than talking about myself. What about you?

So, here I sit working on re-branding my website for the second time – but now considering what I believe and what I want to offer in that arena. I carefully consider each method of delivery and my messaging. I’m squeezing my brain and wringing my heart to find words to explain it in a way that embraces readers and convinces them to sit a while longer and see what happens.  Part of my resistance comes from the fact that I’m entering a new frontier and still trying to define exactly what space I will occupy. You too?

 

From my Twitter profile, my shortest “About me!”

WRITING EXERCISE 1: Elevator Speech about you – 1 liner – Who are you and what are you doing?

I recently completed the Brand You! Executive-education course working to gain a full 360 degree/3-D perspective of who I am and what I offer. Truthfully, this course benefits anyone trying to navigate this changing job landscape to remind you of your brand, your passion, vision, and core values that may translate better than specific skills being rendered unnecessary thanks to technology and automation.  

We only look and self-evaluate ourselves based on our reflections in the mirror. In this course, we receive evaluations and quick insights from others who see the “real us.” They know our faces straight on.  We also took a variety of third-party evaluations, some confirming information I knew about myself, some clarifying characteristics about me that now suddenly made sense.

My 150-ish word “About Me” from my Facebook Page

WRITING EXERCISE 2: Brief about you – 150 words – Who, what, where, when, and why are you doing this?

So what other questions do you ask yourself to help get to the core of who you are? Here are a few I’ve learned from a few conferences and podcasts. Share yours in the comments!

  • What would you do if you knew you could not fail?
  • What do you like to do in your spare time?
  • What would you do if money was no object?
  • What are three things that bring you joy?
  • What would you write in your obituary?

Another reason why I have difficulty with this task is, again, imposter syndrome. I don’t always understand the “how,” I just know that I get stuff done. Sometimes it feels wickedly smart and other times extremely messy. But I get there.

This mantra quickly helped me transition from my year of vulnerability to a year of striving, confidence, reinvention:  Why Not Me?!

This is the first paragraph of a way too long profile from my blog!

WRITING EXERCISE 3: About you – as long as you need – Who, what, where, when, and why are you doing this? Then start revising by cutting half out… See what happens.

EXTRA CREDIT:
So while I did refer you to my various sites and my old “About Me” examples, I am working on redoing my site and will share new info “About Me” shortly! Feel free to let me know what caught your eye or what made you look away. While I finish re-working my various “About Me” please consider asking one more question for me:

What do you need right now?

Leave your comments or DM me if you wish to let me know privately. I want to know what you are working on, what is challenging you, what steals your time? I can’t wait to learn more about YOU!

#WednesdayWritingPrompt #WWP #Autobiography #MiniMemoir #Bio #Writing #AboutMe #AboutYou #OMagInsiders #MakesMeWander

ONE WOMAN WRITING RETREAT

I’m still designing how the label “Writer” fits me. Writing still exists as more of a hobby or side-gig right now, but occupies more real estate on my 8-year plan.  So I try to emanate what writers do… They write, read, write, wander, go on writing retreats, write, submit articles, drink wine, apply for writing residencies, write, procrastinate, get a publishing deal, get distracted, and write.

If you love this journal, you can click on the picture to buy! #afflink

So far, it’s been hard to create a regular habit for me.  I started my blog to force the daily writing habit (but my kids went to sleep earlier back in 2012). Now that they’re older, and seemingly never go to bed, my train of thought gets too easily distracted by the constant movement in my house. I don’t have a protected writing space physically or mentally. I often go away from home to get any writing done.

My writing retreats consist of Saturday mornings when I get up to move my car by 7:30am (due to street cleaning) or when I house sit for others and put distance between me and my laundry, dishes, bookshelf, stack of magazines, and binge-worthy shows. Conferences and retreats always sparks ideas and energizes me to write, but I don’t want to spend a lot of extra time and money just to get writing done. Also, while I love the networking aspect, I get more wrapped up in other people’s ideas and know that sometimes, I need to focus more deeply on my own.  

It dawned on me that when I wrote my master’s thesis 5 years ago, holing myself up in a hotel near my home helped me retain my focus! I live only 6 miles from the Crowne Plaza LAX hotel, limiting my travel time, and knew they’d done extensive renovations.  With their view of LAX, it makes my mind wander enough to get the “what ifs”  flowing without making me want to get up and wander. 

In order to maximize my time, I set up a few guidelines and enforced them:

RESPECT YOUR TIME – While on this mini retreat, use time wisely! Set boundaries, eliminate distractions. Although a bed to myself and unlimited paid TV movie channels tempts me, I purposefully left the TV off or swore that I’d wait until I met my productivity goals. (Turns out it never went on).

PERSONALIZE YOUR SPACE – Rearrange any furniture not bolted down, that moves easily. I made sure the desk and my notebooks would be the central focus. I stayed close to the air, put my back to the view, and felt more invested in the job at hand.

SET GOALS – Whether aiming for a certain page count, or hashing out an idea by meditating on your ideas, make a schedule for yourself to allow balanced time for eating, sleeping, working, and daydreaming.

HEALTHY FOODS – My goal focused on not spending too much time and effort on meals. Though this hotel does feature a variety of food in the lobby, I knew if I ate in the hotel, I’d get wrapped up in conversations and get distracted. I purposefully drove offsite for dinner. Kabuki in the Howard Hughes center offered me flavorful sushi options outside of my routine spicy tuna rolls. 

I packed a weekend’s worth of healthy snacks for my marathon writing session.

I did wind up running to the lobby for a salad from the Boulevard Market Cafe and it hit the spot!

HYDRATE – My fluid routine consists of equal parts coffee, water and wine – in that order.  Creative juices flow more freely with proper hydration! 

VOLUMES OF SUPPORTING MATERIALS – Obviously, I’m the one you should look for in the case of an emergency that may prevent us from returning home right away. Not for my snack and hydration supplies but for my books to read to pass the time.

SELF CARE – Make sure you take time to be still, or pamper yourself, or do whatever helps your daily routine dissipate and allows you to center and be present for your writing weekend.

BE FLEXIBLE – You may define this as yoga, I define this as forgiving myself and allowing the schedule to reveal itself as I go. Things may change, I may not hit every  mark, but still dedicating time to myself and living in a boundary-less space while stretching my creative muscles felt amazing!

I’d love to report back that I finished a novel in 24 hours, or even an outline, but I didn’t. Still, it’s worth the exercise to get away, organize my notes some, and remind me what I love about writing. Next time, I plan to amplify my efforts with large adhesive note papers and some expo markers, or even a pile of square note pads that I can stick to the wall and continue to hash out ideas.

What about you?
When is the last time you did a retreat?
Were you alone or with friends?
What is your favorite part of getting away?
What are you writing right now?
Where should I go next?
Alone or with other writers?

#Writing #Writerslife #retreat #CrownePlazaLAX #KABUKI #Restaurant #Meditate #bath #wine #books #notebooks #ideas #Write #iboughtit #MakesMeWander

MIND BLOWN: MINDFUL MIDLIFE

While growing up, all I heard about “middle age” foretold the imminent explosion of a full-blown midlife crisis wrought with side-effects such as race cars and affairs. The true crisis exacerbated with each tick-tock of the clock and visible in the faces of caricatures trying to re-capture their youth and prove they’re still worthy. Beginning my own downward spiral, I fortunately extracted myself after a series of a-ha moments. This led to me finally piecing things together, coming to realizations about myself and redefine how I look at mid-life! It’s an opportunity to finally live the life we dreamed of, not anyone else’s dream, armed with life’s wisdom. Call it a second coming, our second wind, our encore… My campaign for Mindful Midlife’s starts here!

white ring bill alarm clock

Photo by Joseph Redfield on Pexels.com

But first, here’s how I got here. Hindsight is 20/20. 

As Oprah says: 

Life whispered
Sitting in marriage counseling with my wasband, the therapist asked me what I liked to do on my own for fun and I didn’t know my answer. I wracked my borderline co-dependent mind to no avail. The only emotion that surfaced, then drained the blood from my body, was shock over how muffled my emotions presented. I didn’t invest time to excavate them at that time because I had two babies in 3 1/2 years, lost my job, got divorced and moved in rapid succession. 

brown wooden frame sing board close up photography

Photo by Mati Mango on Pexels.com

Life whispered louder
As the kids and I hurtled into our new normal, it became all about getting them situated and I hid behind the rapid pace of their lives. I met new people while proudly wearing my parent uniform. Parenting allowed me to hear my gut instincts and test my intuition – though I constantly second-guessed my gut as well. I’m not a perfect parent, but I felt good about our direction! Still, underlying all this, I never felt settled nor peaceful because I lived in a constant state of repair. I yearned for 1) a home I loved to come home to, 2) a balanced self-care routine, 3) longevity so we could grow roots. Just as I’d celebrate 2 out of 3, something would shake up our foundation again.

Life thumped me
Recognizing that my kids were no longer little, the finish line encroached. I lived wrecklessly, running myself ragged. I pushed through imbalances, always putting myself last, in order to launch them as best as I could. Still, believe it or not, in my mind, I started having irrational fears that my life would be cut short and the stupid thing being these were because of things only I could control.  

man sitting on a concrete bench

Photo by Burst on Pexels.com

Life threw a brick
Questionable results on a mammogram and recommended surgery for a torn meniscus kept revealing my vulnerabilities to an annoying end. For a while, my mind hovered over the dark visual that my body started to fail me and would deteriorate at a rapidly increasing rate. To avoid surgery, we repaired my knee with strengthening exercises. Next, my body hit me over the head with blood pressure. It shook me and woke me up. I wanted to hold off medicines with more side effects than healing powers for as long as possible. I tried to see if I could heal my body again through mindful steps. It worked. In addition to being more present and more grateful with my health, I felt more in control. 

One day it hit me that in order to not become the crazy cat lady when my kids’ leave the house, I needed to return to that therapists’ couch in my mind and figure out what brought my heart joy, my “why,” my dreams, and my challenges. 

adorable animal art bowl

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

I’ll tell you how I got there in my next post…

What about you?
Have you had a midlife?
Would you describe it at mindful? or manic?
Can you recall the last time the universe spoke to you?
Did you change your behavior?
To you give in and believe what you’re told and feel?
Or did you try to redefine midlife?
Make sure you subscribe above with your email so you’ll know when I post about how I got there!

#MindfulMidlife #MiddleAge #Health #BePresent #BeGrateful #MakesMeWander

EATING OUR WAY AROUND THE WORLD WITHOUT LEAVING LOS ANGELES

Why do you travel? 

  • To get away from the daily grind?
  • To spend quality time with others?
  • To invest time in, and transform, yourself?
  • To learn about other cultures, flavors and traditions? 

My friends Christina, Marsha, Patty and I (and occasionally a special guest!) found a way to do all of the above during those in-between days while waiting for our vacation days to refill. We challenged ourselves to eat our way around the world without leaving Los Angeles! 

LA offers so many cultures living alongside each other. With our two-fold goal, we aim to learn about different parts of the world and different parts of LA at the same time. We drool in anticipation for each new restaurant, and also the quiet time to hang together.

We’ve filled a bowl with names of all the countries we could think of. We meet monthly to draw a piece of paper out to determine which country’s cuisine we will visit.  On occasion, we already know of a good spot. We often still do a bunch of research online if we need other suggestions.  

One of the best parts of travel comes from the anticipation of the upcoming trip! So it’s fun to look forward to our dinner for a few weeks before gathering for a wonderful meal together. In many cases, we just eat. A few times we paused long enough to wander around the neighborhood visiting nearby businesses, street vendors and open air markets! 

So far our itinerary has taken us to:

ITALY
Cantalini’s Salerno Beach Restaurant in Marina Del Rey
Marsha summed this spot up in one word: Sumptuous!  Truly a feast with so many courses – salad, pasta, shrimp and fish! We drank great wine and enjoyed the fantastic family pictures and local location!  We made mental notes to return with family!

PERU
El Pollo Inka in Hermosa Beach
Patty and I frequently visited this spot before we drew the name from the bowl. We loved the amazing grilled meats, Christina had a slow-cooked osso buco. The live music set the tone and the newly redone interior was beautiful!  

JAMAICA
Donna’s Home Caribbean Restaurant in Hawthorne
This cozy little spot felt like eating in the kitchen of a family relative. Though a small spot, the flavors were big! The jerk seasoning brought my favorite combinations of seasonings and the juices were delicious!

SOMALIA
Banadir Somali Restaurant in Inglewood
This restaurant, too, felt like we’d stepped into a friend’s home. When we arrived, a bunch of friends sat at a table watching a game. We asked the chef what he recommended and we eagerly upon a platter!  Patty pointed out how awesome it is that we four seem to be on the same page, often eager to try the same things, or a variety offering.  This platter of meats including chicken, beef, goat and lamp became Christina’s favorite! Great place to feed all of our growing teenaged (and older) kids!

KHAZAKHSTAN
Shamshiri Grill in Westwood
This spot had such a beautiful interior and the entertainment centered on a delicious view of the kabobs being fired on the grill! I surprised myself by liking goat – again – though I settled on shrimp curry. The cherries in the rice were an unexpected dimension for rice that I loved! 

DIM SUM
Ocean Seafood in Downtown LA
When we drew Dim Sum from the fish bowl all four of us were the most excited we’d been to date! We got there early and got right in, the carts began circling like chuck wagons and we covered the table in plates.  A few times Christina found herself saying “That looks interesting!” (We’ve all said that at some spot.) It was cool to try vegetarian options on a few
dishes

EL SALVADOR
Paseo San Miguel in Los Angeles
Marsha suggested this restaurant based on the crowds she saw anytime she drove by. Now that we’ve eaten there, we know why. This spot leaped into the leadership spot with many of us in the group! Patty even went back with her family the same weekend and I’m looking for the opportunity to do the same.  Again, like with the Somalian restaurant, they offered a large platter of food with fish, shrimp, sausage, chicken, and beef. We also ordered four different pupusas and a plate of plantains and beans. We ate so much we were stuffed – hurt so good!

We’ve only just embarked on this journey and we look forward to the next destination – that we will draw in a few weeks!  I’m looking forward to trying Ethiopian! I already know I love Spanish and Armenian food and can’t wait to share it with the gals.  Marsha looks forward to Korean food (as do I). Christina wants us to hurry up and get to Brazilian food – I may already know the perfect place!

This was a test run at work when they hosted an African buffet and we tried Chakalaka!

We’ve also made it our mission to try some American foods that may vary by region – Patty suggested starting with BBQ. Marsha can’t wait to sink her teeth into Memphis BBQ and I look forward to trying Texas BBQ!

I love that I might show up with the stress of the workweek or living with teenagers but between the food and friendship, they quickly point me in another direction and my stress melts away.  So, don’t wait! Gather a partner or a group and get an interest group or club started! Whether it’s for dining, crafts, travel or to start in on your bucket lists, as Marsha would say: Get out and get to it!  

What about you?
What book or film transported you the farthest?
Have you ever picked your next vacation destination based on how beautiful it looked on the big screen? Or from a dish you ate?
What bucket list item could you check off your list tomorrow?
What country has your favorite food or dish?
Do you belong to any clubs with your friends? Dining, Book, Travel, etc? 

#EatOurWayAroundTheWorldLA #yelpla #yelp #Girlfriends #GNO #losangeles #dinner #lunch #happyhour #eatourwayaroundtheworld #lafoodie #foodie #Africa #Italy #Peru #Jamaica #Italy #Khazakstan #Somali #restaurant #restaurantweek #makesmewander

O WOW! OPRAH MAG 2019 FALL BEAUTY O-WARD WINNERS!

As a whole, I am a low-maintenance kinda gal. Primarily born out of necessity, coupled with the fact that I no longer like to wake up early, I have a very simple skin and hair routine – more than half of which I complete in my parked car before going to work. 

 

Usually using my phone light for better and brighter lighting!

 

So it was super fun for some of us #OMagInsiders and the magazine staff to play beauty queen and sample some of the products that O, The Oprah Magazine’s beauty editor Brian Underwood singled out for award consideration!  

Some products were classics, some were brand new. Some were high-end, many were more reasonably priced. All were deliciously and delicately scented, super effective and easy to use so they fit in well with my mornings! Here are my my longer (than the magazine) reviews:

JOHN MASTERS ORGANICS
FINE HAIR SHAMPOO WITH ROSEMARY & PEPPERMINT
This shampoo performed great! Because the shampoo ran thinner, I used less but it still permeated to my scalp. It left less buildup on my hair too. The peppermint smelled and felt wonderful, energizing me in the mornings. 
I recommend the shampoo if you enjoy treating your hair to a day at the salon! 

BEACHWAVER CO. GOOD VIBES
MOISTURIZING CONDITIONER WITH COCONUT OIL
I used a little bit of the conditioner – but I cheated and applied product all the way up to my scalp, not just stopping halfway like the instructions said. My knots instantly fell loose leaving smooth wavy hair! I didn’t need to apply a lot to my thick hair, and after I rinsed, I still felt the benefits without any residual buildup!

I used it at home and brought it in my beach bag for extra protection from the drying sun and salt! Transitioning from the beach to cafe just got easier simply by running my fingers through my hair.

ALTERNA
CAVIAR ANTI-AGING ANTI-FRIZZ AIR DRY BALM
I am extremely low-maintenance with the styling of my hair and this product worked really well with how simple I keep things. I used it both on wet hair straight from the shower, just running my fingers through my wavy hair and also on dry hair to seal my hair for a high ponytail! In both cases, it doesn’t require much product, spreads out easily between my two hands, applies clear and distributes evenly.

It does a great job holding my hair’s desired shape in both cases without tons of angel hair popping out (which is the norm with my wavy hair). I love that my hair doen’t feel waxy (dirty) by the end of the day, it doesn’t feel crispy when first applied. I just rub the rest of the balm into the back of my hands for extra moisture!

RODIN
LUXURY LIP & CHEEK OIL
The best feature of this product surprised me in that the oil didn’t feel oily. It applied to lips easily and didn’t leave huge glossy marks or come off in weird sticky blotches onto my coffee cup.

My tint-free oil absorbed nicely into my cheeks leaving a shimmer that looked more natural (to me) than the powdered highlighters do. This provided a more delicate, natural look that creates highlights better than the powdered highlighters or fine glitter lotions. I look forward to trying some of their tints!

ESTEE LAUDER
ADVANCED NIGHT REPAIR INTENSE RESET CONCENTRATE
Estee Lauder officially helped me turn the page from my aggressive younger blemish-fighting skin routine to a more caring, respectful mindful skin care routine! Advanced Night Repair felt richer and immediately relaxed and protected my skin. It felt as though this one product and I trusted each other to work together.

While using this, I didn’t have to use as many skin-care steps during the day (extra masks; serum + lotions) because the impact of the night repair lasted to the morning – even after washing my face. I saw a difference in the fine lines on my face after a few days and overall, my skin looked younger and more supple, more elastic. This earned a permanent spot in my skin care routine moving forward. More than a fan, I’m an advocate.

 

 

WHAT ABOUT YOU?
How long does your morning routine take?
What about nighttimes?
If you could only use one product for beauty and one for cosmetics, what would they be?
What is your favorite product that you feel deserves an Oward?
What’s the craziest beauty product you ever purchased?
Did you try any of the products from the list?
They’re so reasonable for how well they work!

#OMagInsiders #OprahMag #BrianUnderwood #FallOwards #Beauty #BeautyBlogger #MakeUp #Skincare #BeautyOver50 #BeautyOver40 #Over40blogger #Womenover40 #blogtober #MakesMeWander

 

 

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