Advertisements

WTF VALENTINE’S DAY GIFT

Candlelight makes everyone look perfect...

You are dressed to the nines, your lover looks delicious, dazzling eyes, skin warm in the glow of candlelight and starry night. They reach for your hand, pull it close to their heart, your heart skips a beat as you look into their eyes and try not to get carried away in butterflies.  You soak in every word of their pledge of love and affection for you, how they enjoy every minute with you and when you’re apart thinking of you makes their heart smile.  You’re perfect for them and complement each other better than ever hoped. They pull out a very personally wrapped present and slowly push it towards you. Your heart flutters with anticipation for this gift that they carefully picked out just for you. You shake the box gently as they pull you closer in an embrace. They are kissing your ear as you slowly untie the ribbon. The velvet kisses move down your neck as you remove the lid exposing a small envelope inside. They slowly push aside your collar, nuzzling your shoulder with their lips as you gently slide out a gift certificate for PLASTIC SURGERY?! You smash the box on their head, take the certificate and run.

Just want to change a little something...

I’m not above plastic surgery, I say do what makes you feel as awesome as you deserve, but receiving this gift from a loved one feels an awful lot like “I love you, BUT…”  Maybe it’s just me, but doesn’t that feel a tad superficial (although this is So Cal)?!  To give them the benefit of the doubt – perhaps they meant that you should do the work for “yourself” to make you feel better and then surprise your loved ones with newly enhanced parts.

Well OK, then...

To me, this gift ranks with those gifts one knows to never get a loved one like a vacuum, tools, or aprons – although I’d LOVE one of these.

I'd cook all day looking this cute!

Back to the story… you get a rush of endorphins running away, free with possibilities. The gift certificate does good bringing lots of love and money raised for the silent auction you donate it too. Hell, use it yourself, if you want – but only for yourself, not for anyone else!

Advertisements

2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. A Wandering Soul Passing By
    Feb 04, 2012 @ 20:19:45

    No one ever told me about the list of gifts never to give a loved one. That explains a lot! Thanks 🙂

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: