I typed today’s entry without looking at the screen, hiding my eyes from the pictures. I hate fish – ichthyophobia. I don’t mind living fish, I visit aquariums, crave sushi, but hate dead fish. I hope that acknowledging my fear lessens its hold.
FEAR OF FISH TIMELINE:
– Fishing with Dad who makes me stick my fingers in the gills to hold fish for a picture
– I wake up to my dog licking my guppy. I don’t know which scarred me more: that my fish killed himself jumping from the tank or that the dog ate him
– Sea World Annual Membership – fed lots of dead fish to whales
– My dad and I deep-sea fish! I love fishing and sit patiently all day casting and reeling in! Refuse to touch fish to bait the hook or release my catch
– Hand-pick 10 guppies from babysitter’s tank! Bonus: One births 14 babies! I change the water and later find a silver film
– 24 carcasses castigating me
– My dad gets goldfish with buggy eyes. It lasted 2 days – 2 days too long
– Next, Siamese Fighting Fish – Beautiful til it caught Yuck! and sunk like a rock
– Visiting China with my Grandmother, every meal for weeks had fish corpses on a platter. People scraped its meat right from its body with forks. I couldn’t even hold the plate holding the fish
– Boy hangs dead fish on a rope outside my dorm window to show me he cares
– Horrified by music video with dying fish
– Buy a house: Receive welcome gift of mangled koi in yard. When my ex finally goes to remove it, it’s vanished
– To end the cycle of ichthyophobia with me, I bravely walk past grocery fresh fish displays for my children while diverting my attention elsewhere because if one moves I’ll scream
– Millions of silver fish beach themselves along our coast in Southern CA. While the sparkly silver would normally attract me, it’s horrifying to me.
Strangely, I eat fish, but only with no signs of fishdom – no skin, no bones, no head. Next we’ll cover my fear of eating things that look like they did when they lived. What fears do you have?