I’m sitting here trying to come up with the appropriate way to express my wandering thoughts. Two ideas keep ping-ponging in my mind but they’re not developing and it’s frustrating me.

Firstly, I recognize my different tone and topics in my blog since I’ve been working again. Every night I blog from 9:30pm – midnight trying to write by day end and to rest for work. The last two nights, my new habit was I didn’t start writing until midnight – this must end immediately. I know why – I’m prolonging the inevitably crazy week. Two weeks ago I reintroduced a job into my life, last week, baseball started – and we didn’t make every event. This week we’ll practice, have scouts AND play first ball games this weekend.

When a friend asked for my Tuesday plans, while I’d love to do a single sistah’s Valentine’s Day, all I want is to sit still. I took breaks this weekend and had an impromptu visit with friends after wandering the park – perfect! I also sorted a box of junk and tossed stuff. If I take breaks during the week, I lose momentum. I know we’ll survive, it’s just another transition.

I got still watching the daisies sunbathe!

The second issue is yet another celebrity death. It’s tragic to keep losing talented people this way. I try not to use other people as examples, yet when my kids hear the cause of death on the radio, they ask questions. I can’t help but answer in a “Let that be a lesson” way. My son always wants to know why the person did it and why aren’t they in jail.

I don’t pretend to know why they started or what their “people” thought, I simply look at the point of view that when given the choice, they chose wrong. It messed up their careers and ultimately cost their lives. I stress the importance of communicating with others and learning to manage feelings because that means we’re human. Finally they learn to respect their bodies for maximum longevity.

I am saddened by the recent losses of such amazing artists. I feel for them and their internal struggles – magnified by the spotlight. I hope now they’ve found peace and stillness.

Only a few of nature’s stained glass leaves left, barely hanging on.

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