In a meeting, a professor lamented, “Don’t parents know if they let their kids study what they want, they’ll be better students?!” My head rotated 360 degrees experiencing emotions from being those college students choosing a major to satisfy everyone, to now holding a higher-up Mom position to the future Presidents! I teach my kids to follow their dreams and interests – with gentle guidance from me.
Aaah! I’ve become my parents! Worse, I’ve become a momager! I’ve always freely given momagers credit for wanting to set up her kids for life. But any of us with a secret wish list for our children are momagers. Rather than rattle off my parenting philosophies, I’ll say that my goal focuses on introducing them to many things in life so that when contemplating career or other options, they’ll base the decision on their own strong history and curiosity.
When my child said “I want to be an Ultimate Fighting Champion when I grow up!” I congratulated them on their cool career choice, ask what attracted them and suggest other career options too, based on their passions. When the other one wanted to be a bounty-hunter I again, (silently curse other relatives for their TV leniency) suggested a wide-spectrum of careers that also help uphold justice. Perhaps I’m giving my children too many options, but I’d rather they feel that the sky’s the limit.
I confess, I’m involved in the kids’ lives. I am a recovering project manager who looked forward to the Mission report since my son was three. I limited my involvement to helping manage the timeline, not the output. I did assist with placement, cutting and gluing to lose the “collage” look. Rest assured, one year later, I don’t get as involved with new projects.
Being a momager, I also have days where I’m mentally drained and don’t feel like managing anything. Tonight, despite a lifetime of saying “I’ll never cook 2 different meals for my kids” I didn’t feel like figuring out which child to punish with dinner tonight – since they never agree and one always winds up “losing” – so voila, taquitos and pancakes!
Bottom line, momagers only want what’s best for their kids, right?