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DAILY PROMPT: PROCRASTINATION: If you give a girl some homework…

If you give a girl some homework,
She’ll want to brainstorm some suggestions to begin work on it.
You’ll text her some of your favorite ideas.
She’ll probably get all giddy and inspired,
So she’ll want to jump online to research.
She’ll ask you to do a Google Hangout to chat about it.
When you give her the go-ahead,
She’ll probably ask you to wear a virtual crown and accessories.

WTF: With technology facelift

WTF: With technology facelift

You’ll have to find the best on-screen shades.
The shades will remind her of the cute barista where she was studying yesterday.
She might feel distracted and want to visit her favorite coffee shop again.
She’ll want you to come too.
She’ll look through her closet for a cute book bag,
Then she’ll look under her bed for her car phone charger.
When she’s under her bed,
She’ll find her old F*ck me strappy sandals.
She’ll try them on with the barista in mind.
She’ll probably need something special to wear with them.
When she’s all dressed she’ll hunt for her headphones.
She’ll play her very best divalicious playlist.
And she’ll start dancing.
Then she’ll want to, and want you to, take some selfies.
So you’ll both have to post them on Instagram #Procrastination.

Prime Procrastination

Prime Procrastination

When she sees and likes the pictures online,
She’ll ask you to take more.
Then she’ll want to send out copies by emailing each of her friends.
You’ll have to get her to close some windows and pop-ups to free up memory,
And get her to empty her spam folder.
On the way, she’ll see her blog stats in her back row.
She’ll want to build a blog post about barista boy.
She’ll want to add pictures to it.
She’ll look for new wall paper and google his pictures.
When she is on google.com,
She’ll see the online history.
Seeing the history will remind her
Of your favorite brainstormed ideas.
She’ll probably ask you to narrow them down.
And chances are, if she asks you for some ideas,
She’ll want to finally finish her homework in time.

Adapted from “If You Give a Pig a Pancake” by Laura Numeroff.
Laura is the author of one of our favorite series of books!

Love the rhythm of her books!

Love the rhythm!

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OUT OF THE FRY BASKET AND INTO THE FRYER!

Ever since working 5 minutes in the pool snack bar 30 years ago, I couldn’t wait to do it again. With the heat turned up thanks to the increased responsibility of an oil fryer and nacho cheese, I was nervous that I’d wind up ruining someone’s mouthwatering vision for their fries or taco boat. As a group, we did great! I learned things I always wanted to know, and some I didn’t, but I’m not going to spill the flavorful mystique of the League Snack Bar.

Is this picture scratch-n-sniff? Oh, well I can still smell it...

We received a reprieve as the last game was cancelled. After a thorough cleanup, I took my mustard-smeared, fry-smelly self to find solace in the bookstore. Knowing the kids would be showered and ready for bed on-time, to correct for the last two nights pressing bedtime boundaries, helped restore me. Wandering, I quickly picked a book for my son and carefully found a book with no visible dresses or pink for my daughter.

Maybe the universe was telling me I don't need no more stinkin' books.

As I made it to Bestsellers, a text startled me, “Your son has a horror story to print out.” These words cause alarm because we don’t have a printer. We don’t have the surface or outlet space and rarely print, so we manage – if mentioned earlier in the evening. This time, it threatened the ideal bedtime.

I drove straight to Kinko’s texting the meeting place at each stoplight. No answer. I tried again, “Is there still typing to do?” No answer. I called, my heartbeat grew faster with every ring. Every minute counted and I didn’t want to waste any time. I felt momentarily relieved when they announced their departure.

With just enough time to get faster food than I’d wanted, I ate quickly anticipating a flurry of kids and printing! Still, nobody in sight! A rapid succession of texts delivered a punch “Lost his flash drive,” “Frantically searching.”

After giving up the search, I arrived home to find my son writing a new horror story about losing his flash drive, my daughter up past her bedtime, and me critiquing my fast food which pailed in comparison to the grilled burgers and seasoned crispy fries served at the snack bar.

Crispy with Seasoned Salt!

Share your time management horror stories!