Advertisements

MY MICHELLE PHELPS PHANTASY

Every few years, people inspired by fantastic feats of athleticism, underestimated underdogs, and sensational skill dream their own Olympic dream! These dreams send herds of people signing up for gymnastics and cannonballing into the pool!

Welcome to the Olympics! What’s your dream? Everybody has one!

For me, I’m convinced that I’m Michael Phelps’ twin, Michelle, and had I not moved from Baltimore as a child, that he’d have been drafting off of me in a pool.

Fierce competition!

SIMILARITIES:

  • Birthdays – he’s June 30, I’m June 03 – mistake on my birth certificate?
  • From Baltimore and Towson
  • Competitive Swimmers – me in high school, as a senior they had to put me on Varsity

My high school swim team photo – what is that, hay in my mouth? I did swim for Poway after all.

IT’S A STRETCH:

  • He’s 6’4”, I’m 5’3 ¾”
  • I’m Asian, he’s Cauc-asian
  • He swims 200m Freestyle in 1:42:96; I take 4:00:00 – different training regime

Yeah, it’s kinda like that.

OK, you non-believers, call it what you want, but the Phelps phenomenon got my butt back in the pool today after a year – or two!  After summoning all the strength from my shoulders and giving my abs fair warning, I put my toes over the edge of the pool, one foot over the water and slipped in gracefully (from what I could tell underwater).

Minimal splash or cannonball – your call.

STARTING TO SEE YOUR POINT:

  • Barely managed 100m straight – after training my son 2 weeks ago to do so
  • Innate skill to damage myself standing still – I don’t drown while swimming so fast that churning water surrounds my face, I choked when I sucked in water still holding onto the pool’s edge. I pushed off to cough underwater so nobody can hear me drowning (from what I could tell underwater)
  • Dizzy brunette – While rocking the backstroke (my edge over Michael – he hasn’t dominated that stroke!), I arched my head back, chin up to enjoy the view from under the water but returning to proper position caused some sort of whirlpool in my ear that went straight to my nausea center. I tried to swim past it and thankfully didn’t puke in the pool.

First time back felt that good.
*My cats were not harmed for this photo

STILL A WIN-WIN SITUATION:

  • Best exercise for your heart and body!
  • I love tan lines
  • Fellow swimmers – I’ll take meeting some dude with endless abs in swimming goggles over meeting some guy in beer goggles.

Loving Lochte!

What’s your Olympic fantasy? How will you fulfill it?

What?  Phelps is retiring and Nathan Adrian is half-asian and a swimmer… so am I…

Not only did he have a great year, he helped Michael win his final medal!

Advertisements

THE CREEPY GUYS WHO WON’T LEAVE YOU ALONE!

Every four years the nation sits fixed to their TVs, anxious to celebrate people who worked hard to truly master skills for their shining moment.  People embrace winners, hunger for underdog successes, and celebrate the rest simply because of their inspirational spirits!  After the Olympic Closing ceremony, the sheen of gold, silver and brass tarnishes quickly as feverish elections come calling.  To me, all candidates are annoying guys marking their conquests – one dangling chad at a time.

HARRASSING TELEPHONE CALLS
In 3 days I received 3 phone calls from multiple numbers. If I don’t recognize numbers, or especially now that I do, I don’t answer.  They leave a message! Candidates usually lack the time or gumption to call you themselves so they have their friends find out if you like them.  I don’t even need to hear their voice, the silence on the line before they get rolling creeps me out.  If you don’t stay on the line long enough, they call back!

(C) Dimension Films

SMOTHERING LOVE NOTES AND HATE MAIL
Every day between now and November it’s non-stop political junk mail that I toss aside to recycle.  I’m considering forwarding my mail to a political office for yucks.  I don’t care if they get our Boy Scout and Oprah magazines, they may learn things from Lifeclass or the Scouts.

SAY WHATEVER IT TAKES TO GET YOU IN BED
I love living during historical moments such as Obama backing gay marriages. I’m incredibly frustrated by his timing having announced it the night before his huge fundraiser in LA!  It’s about time but what took so long? It feels so calculated to me and, in my opinion, cheapens the sentiment! If you disagree – it’s allowed. He’s not alone.  All parties’ candidates on all levels say whatever they think you want to hear. They heartlessly dig and bash the competition in such dirty, deceitful fights that even if I once liked them, by the end I want to choose nobody.

I don’t think all men or candidates are slimy. I will sort through the crap to seek out honorable intentions before I choose a decent person with whom I want to spend the next 4 years of my life.